


The Skelebat Family

by HailSam



Category: Batman - All Media Types, Batman: The Animated Series, Teen Titans (Animated Series), Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Babysitters, Alternate Universe - Teen Titans (Animated Series) Setting, Batman Adopts Babies, Bruce Wayne is Batman, Crack Treated Seriously, Gaster - Freeform, Gen, Infertility, Is that right?, Maybe - Freeform, No One Can Stop Him, Possible Character Death, Teen Titans as Family, mainly
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-21
Updated: 2020-09-24
Packaged: 2021-03-01 00:46:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,602
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23246485
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HailSam/pseuds/HailSam
Summary: Batman is on his usual route when he finds two lost, abandoned skeleton children.He does what he always does in these situations: takes them in.
Relationships: Beast Boy/Raven, Dick Grayson/Koriand'r, Garfield Logan/Raven, Pamela Isley/Harleen Quinzel, Robin/Starfire
Comments: 48
Kudos: 91





	1. Found You

**Author's Note:**

> You can find me:  
> https://twitter.com/sassyhaillive  
> https://www.pillowfort.social/HailSam  
> https://sassyhail.tumblr.com/
> 
> If you need on Pillowfort or even an invite here, let me know I'll help you out :)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He found them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm going to try to keep this to two chapters lol. First one here is him finding them and then fastforward to them being BatSans and Papyrus/Robin

The night was like any other. Thieves, drug dealers, people hopping the subway without paying for a ticket. Okay, sometimes he let them pass, if only because some were familiar to him. Nicholas was a starving college student that may or may not have meals appear at his door during the week, while Mary was busy caring for her sick grandmother to the point she had no money for even herself, much less the subway.

Bruce made up for it by slipping a few coins into the machine.

Others were just notorious penny pinchers or teens who thought they were slick to bypass the system, but a sudden appearance by Batman quickly set them on the straight and narrow.

It was quiet, and he almost thought...too quiet...the dreaded set of words that would ruin any moment, until he saw something in an alley. He wasn’t sure what it was, but it was in the dumpster, and he had the sick feeling of an abandoned puppy...or worse.

His zipline shot out, and he swung down into the mouth of the alley without much more than a whisper of a thought. Approaching the disgusting dumpster, shooing away a stray rat, his worst thought came to fruition.

A baby laid inside, curled inside a blanket that was just as dingy as the rest of the dumpster. He sighed, shoulders slumping. Poor thing. Even as he felt a small hint of anger at whoever did this, he also felt massive pity. They must have been in some sort of trouble...he leaned in, slipping his hands under the baby who started to sniffle. “Shh, shh, there you are,” he mumbled.

Wait.

This was no human baby.

This was a _skeleton_ baby. 

A monster.

That made things so much worse. 

Monsters were well known, and it was a fact that monster children were very, very fragile...so what was this one doing here? The little hands were squished into the blanket, and his slightly elongated skull scrunched into a very displeased look. He shushed the baby again, gently bouncing him. What was he-

Something kicked his shin, and he looked down, a menacing figure cut into the shadow of the night as a small toddler kicked at him with a squeal, “No! Weave him awone! No! Put him, down down down!” 

Hmm. Two skeleton children? This was not shaping up well at all.

Ignoring the kicking, and the fact he couldn’t feel any pain at all in his thick boots, he squat down, sighing. “Hey there, buddy.”

The skeleton huffed, stomping a foot. He had a squished skull, white eye lights, and somehow a permanent smile that still gave off a frown? He wore a large striped sweater that had filth attached to it...but nothing else. He frowned as the skeleton whined. “Down!” he held up his hands for the baby.

“Sorry, bud,” Bruce rumbled. “You two seem a little lost to me.” The older skeleton blinked, then started to tear up, making a noise as he dropped his arms down and started to rub at his eyes. Bruce sighed, gently sweeping the skeleton into his arm, letting him cry on his shoulder.

What was he getting himself into…

\------------------------------------

A large bowl of soup slid in front of the toddler-Sans, as he said-and the kid leaned in, blowing on it with exaggerated inhales. The baby, meanwhile, was in Bruce’s arm, sucking down a bottle of oatmeal as he stared up at him. Alfred cleared his throat, leaning in and adjusting a bib onto Sans, showing him how to spoon the soup to the child’s delight. “Master Bruce, when I envisioned grandchildren, this was not how I expected it.”

“Hardy har har, Alfred,” Bruce grumbled, sipping a mug of coffee, adjusting his hold on the small infant. “I can’t get him to tell me anything. Have you seen anything on the news?”

Alfred shook his head, gently holding Sans’ hand and showing him how to spoon without vigorously spilling the soup as the child wanted. “Nothing about a monster disappearing or dying, no. It wouldn’t be out of the question to ask the consulate or the royals. They keep close to one another, yes?”

They did. The King was a jovial monster, who seemed to know everyone’s name, even humans. And monsters that Bruce didn’t think knew the King and Queen addressed them by name, not title. Hopefully he could find something out about the two children. He sighed, placing his cup down and running a hand over his head. “I guess there’s only one thing left to do.”

Alfred nodded. “I shall make up the beds then in a jiffy. Sans, please, do not make bubbles,” he fussed as the toddler blew into his milk, giggling.

Bruce hid a grin. He knew had he turned his back, Alfred would be showing Sans how to make an enormous pile of milk bubbles, just as he had when Bruce was young.

\--------------------------

The baby, Papyrus, was sound asleep. Good, as they didn’t have a crib for him, so they had to use a drawer from a chest ‘as my own mother once did’, Alfred said.

Sans, meanwhile, was crying after his nap, latched onto Bruce who kept a hold on him, a hand that was nearly bigger than Sans himself rubbing the little skeleton’s back. “What’s the matter, bud? Hm?” he whispered, rocking him slowly.

Sans sniffled, rubbing his face into Bruce’s neck and Bruce grimaced. Yuck. “B-Bad dweeeaaam,” he whined.

Bruce paused, remembering all too well how as a child, Alfred would scoop him up, tears and snot running as he wailed, how Alfred would gently prod and all he could scream was ‘bad dream’. How the ‘bad dream’ was less of a dream and more of a reality, the constant memory of his parents’ last moments playing out over and over and over…

He squeezed Sans tightly, rocking him again. “I know, bud,” he whispered. “I know. Bad dreams are bad. How about you sleep on me, then? I’ll keep you safe.”

Sans mumbled into his shirt, but it must have been an affirmative as he dozed off, tear-stained face hid into Bruce’s neck as he kept rocking back and forth slowly, staring at the wall in the quietness of the room.

Gods above how could he do this? Take in two little kids? He didn’t even know if he HAD parenting skills, much less…

Well. It was too late. Much like how he had packed up and fled to the monastery to practice his skills, much like how he had spent night and day sewing and ripping and tearing his own hair out until he got the Batsuit to its most recent design, he would dive head first into this forray and not look back. 

He wondered what it would’ve been like, had he carried on with his life. Live a long, lonely life with Alfred around, his second father if he was honest, pondering how life would have been had he ever found someone to share it-and his secrets-with.

But no...no need for dwelling. This was his decision.

And he wasn’t known for changing his mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We both know that I wanna make more of this but guys I just  
> I  
> have no plot  
> it was just something fun to make  
> (unless you guys want more then I'll seriously start trying to make a thing)


	2. Teen Titans...Babysit!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Teen Titans have a new mission!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TTG did NOT live up to Teen Titans and we all know it.

The last time Cyborg had been interrupted during a video game, it ended up being Jynx and her crew acting foolish downtown and needing to be kicked down a few notches. It took a moment for him to realize that the screen now held a bat symbol twirling in place, and what it meant.

“ROBIN!” he yelled, tossing the controller on the side as he jumped over the back of the couch, Beast Boy-in dog form, asleep-rolling off with a yip. He skittered on the carpet as he raced after Cyborg, quickly transforming into his bipedal form and hiding a yawn. 

“Cy, what’s the rush?!” he yelled, rubbing his head as he bashed into said Cyborg, who stopped at Robin’s room, banging on the door.

“Bro didn’t you see?! The Bat dude’s on the line!” he whispered sharply, huffing when no one answered the door. “We’re so going to get glared at.”

“And his glare is as scary as Raven’s!” Beast Boy shivered, quickly banging on Robin’s door. “ROOOBIIIN! SAVE US FROM YOUR DAD!”

The door opened and Beast Boy let out an ‘oof!’ as he fell on the carpet, Robin in pajamas and staring at them with his normal mask on. “Guys. It’s 6 in the morning. I’m not playing Mario Kart.”

“Someday you will!” Cyborg pointed at him, then grabbed his arm, dragging the bewildered bird behind him. “It’s the Bat Dad! He’s on the line!”

“What? Batman?” A ‘ping’ finally went in his sleepy head and he shook his head, snatching the sleep hat off his head. “What’s he want?”

“Man I don’t know! I didn’t answer!”

“You didn’t-” Robin sputtered, being pushed into the living room where the gigantic screen lay, the bat symbol still spinning. He was so shocked for a moment that he didn’t register when it finally connected, and Batman-in his outfit-loomed over him.

“Robin.”

“Uuuuuuuhhhh, heeeeeey!” ‘Dad’, he almost said, before noticing Cy and BB peeking in through the automatic doors. He threw an empty can of cola at them, hissing, and they rushed away with a shriek. “Uuuuh. What’s up?”

Batman let out a slow sigh, and Robin wondered if they would team up, like they used to in the past, before Robin found his team and they were taking their own town by storm, slowly gathering more members in their own ‘Justice League’ type of situation. “...I have. A surprise.”

“You hate surprises.”

Behind Batman, Alfred-Robin knew it was him-let out a cough to hide his laugh. It was true. Bruce loathed surprises. Said hero rolled his eyes under his mask. “I do. I actually need your team’s help.”

“You need...our help?” Whoa. His dad. Needed his help. That was...so _awesome_! No wait no it wasn’t! It had to be bad! Right?? RIGHT! “What’s going on? Should we get the Titans East? No wait, I need my suit-”

“Robin.” He stopped Robin’s rambles and pacing, which he didn’t even know he started up. “I’m coming over.”

“Wait, what-”

The connection disconnected, and for a man who hated surprises, he sure likes to give them to others, Robin thought. A hand touched his shoulder, startling him from his thoughts and he looked up into emerald green eyes.

“Friend Robin?” Starfire asked. “Is something of the matter?”

Robin sighed, shaking his head. “Group up, Batman’s coming.”

\--------

“Well aren’t you perky this morning.”

The-THE-Batman stood in their-THEIR!!!-hallway. He was exactly as threatening as they had imagined him.

Er. Except for a few things.

The first was Alfred, standing prim and proper beside him...holding a baby in one arm as if it was nothing. The other was a small skeleton monster peeking around his boots, then hiding under the cape and waving his hands.

Robin seemed to think it over-or at least let the cogs start wheeling and brush the spiderwebs from his mind-before he opened with: “Uh.”

“Meet Sans.” Batman lifted his cape a bit, revealing the small child. He had on a hoodie and shorts with small tennis shoes. “And Papyrus.” He nodded at the baby in Alfred’s arms. Said baby was sleeping away, one hand tucked against his cheek, drooling on it.

Before Robin could ask anything else, Starfire and Beast Boy cooed over them, Starfire immediately shoving her face near the baby’s. Alfred, for his credit, never flinched. “Oh my! How very small he is! Perhaps he would like to partake in the driving of the karts with Cyborg?”

“Heeeey buddy,” Beast Boy leaned down, a giant grin on his face even as Sans cowered against Batman’s boots. “Oh man aren’t you a cool dude! Are you the big bro then?”

Sans knocked his head against Batman’s leg as he nodded, still staring at Beast Boy with wide eyes. BB grinned, his ears twitching. “Niiiiice! Hey wanna see a trick?” Sans shrugged, gasping when BB turned into the bloodhound form. He plopped down, panting, and Sans wheeled over to him eagerly to pet his head with a laugh.

Batman raised an eyebrow. “Hm. Good one.” He turned a bit to face Robin. “I found them in an alley, and I have to meet with the Ambassador about this. However, I didn’t feel that the Batcave was appropriate to keep them there.”

Robin snorted, crossing his arms with a smirk. “You trusted ME to stay there.”

“You were also not 5 years old.” Batman paused. “And had a healthy sense of danger. 5 year olds’ senses aren’t honed yet.”

“It’s like leaving Beast Boy in charge,” Raven quipped back, although her eyes kept straying to where the little skeleton-Sans-had the big head of the green dog in his lap and was playfully pulling on his ears, squealing when the cold nose touched his elbow.

Batman grunted. “Anyway, watch them for a while. Don’t take them on a mission.” He clapped a hand on Robin’s shoulder, nodding. “I trust you.”

Robin puffed up, quickly nodding. “Yes of course. We can do this.”

“I know.”

And with that, he was gone, leaving the group of teenagers to do something they’ve never done before: babysit.

Starfire gleefully took over holding the baby, who was now stirring from his nap and chewing on her hair gleefully. BB snuffled as he plopped his head in Sans’ lap, who squealed and clapped as he spoke, “Soooo. Anyone know anything about kids?”

Cyborg snorted. “Barely.”

Raven shrugged as Robin sighed. “I know, I know, none of us have really dealt with this before. But we can do this! Besides, what’s the worst that can happen?”

Sans squeaked. “Hi!”

It was always the cute ones.

He’d managed to get into paint somehow and had made handprints all along the living room wall. Raven had taken him to take a bath (or at least a quick handwashing), but Starfire was nervously rocking the baby who seemed intent on bursting their eardrums with his wailing the moment Sans had left.

Alfred had left behind a diaper bag, and they’d dug inside to find a bottle, but he didn’t want that. He shrieked, kicking it away as he cried and Starfire whined. “Oh little one, please, what perplexes you? Is it a bad time happening? Are you in need of the nap?” Of course, he was unable to voice any of this, but the moment she tilted her face down he was pushing her away with a squall.

She sighed, slumping a bit as Robin rubbed at his ear. “Don’t worry, Star. He’s a baby, it’s hard to figure out what they’re wanting.”

Cyborg came over, holding his arms out. “Here, gimme that kid.”

“Of course!” Starfire handed him over nervously, her head ringing with how loud he was wailing. Cyborg cuddled him up as best he could, a blanket between them to cushion the metallic parts as he started walking around the living room. 

“Heeeey Juuuude,” he started to sing, low and evenly, “Don’t make it baaaaad. Take a sad soooong, and make it….better,” he hummed, Papyrus slowing his cries as the even rocking and rumbling from Cyborg soothed him. “Remember to let her into your heart, and then you can staaaart...to make it better…”

Papyrus stared up at him with wet sockets, sniffling a bit as he took in a breath, turning in a circle. “Heeeeey Juuuuude,” he rumbled, and maybe he was cheating a little, using a deep bass to rumble against the little bones, but everything was fair in love, war, and getting little babies to ease their sorrows.

Once he seemed to calm down, he passed by Starfire nabbing the bottle and chuckling as the baby latched on eagerly, watching him. Starfire clapped. “Friend Cyborg! That was amazing!”

“Yeah Cy,” Robin nodded. “How’d you know to do that?”

“When I was a kid, my mom used to do that.” He chuckled, rocking the baby slowly. “Although, without the subwoofer. But when I was upset, she’d hold me close, and she’d sing this weird song about someone named Jude.” He shrugged. “Dunno why, but it always cheered me up.”

Robin looked from where the baby was curled up, his eyes never leaving Cyborg’s face, then at his friend, chuckling. “I uh, don’t think it was the song, dude.”

Cyborg looked amused, but confused, and then the door opened letting in Sans, squeaky clean and free of paint, riding on BB’s back as he was in the form of a small horse. Cyborg snorted. “Dude, what are you doing?”

“Jealous?” Beast Boy whinnied, tossing his head back. “See, dude? Told ya they would be.”

“I wide!” Sans chirped, hugging BB’s neck with a happy trill. Raven appeared behind them, arms crossed.

“You think we should be searching for their parents?” she asked. Robin shrugged.

“Batman said he was going to the Ambassador.”

“Well, it’s not like skeletons are common,” she pointed out. Beast Boy whinnied.

“Yeah! It wouldn’t hurt to give a helping hand!”

“Yeh!” Sans agreed, even though he didn’t seem to know what he was agreeing to.

Robin hesitated, they were supposed to keep them here, and safe...but...Raven was right. Skeletons weren’t common monsters, and even if the Ambassador agreed that yes these were lost children, it meant having to hunt down and find the parents anyway.

“You’re right,” Robin said, pushing off of the kitchen counter with a grin. “We could cut their search in half, and help reunite the family.”

Starfire clapped. “How wondrous! And with us five, then that means that we can split up and search more than the Bat Man could search!”

Robin grinned, pointing to the ceiling. “Titans! GO!”

\-----

Bruce felt a buzz from his jacket pocket, and he sighed, staring ahead. Alfred placed the cup of tea in front of him. “They did it, didn’t they?”

“Perhaps I shouldn’t have asked superpowered teens to baby sit,” he said, pulling the phone from his pocket. “They always have a bit of a ‘save the world’ in them, don’t they?”

Alfred gave him a look as he poured in a bit of milk for him, replacing the pitcher as he clasped his hands together. “They do remind me of a certain someone, yes.” The slight glare he received was worth it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "You all have a little bit of ‘I want to save the world’ in you, that’s why you’re here, in college. I want you to know that it’s okay if you only save one person, and it’s okay if that person is you." --Anonymous Anthropology Professor last day of class


	3. Reunions...

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The teens fight the H.I.V.E Five. Kind of. 
> 
> Cyborg learns something.
> 
> Kids are adopted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uuuuhhhh this was not meant to be so sad....???? I meant for a rather light-hearted episode with a dash of sadness >>.

This…was not their brightest idea.

Starfire held onto the baby as she zipped around their city, looking out for any skeleton monsters in order to interrogate…I mean question. Raven and Beast Boy took the south, Cyborg took the north, and Robin went racing through alleys (getting that thrum of excitement in his veins, eyes searching the skies for Batman just behind him).

Sans went with Beast Boy, as they were ‘vewy best fwiends!!!’ which…aww-inducing, and kept him safe.

Until the H.I.V.E. Five decided to break things up.

Gizmo shot Starfire out of the air, flickering by with his propeller as he laughed. “Nice flying, barf-brain! Where’d you go to flight school?!” he cackled as Starfire shrieked as she dropped from the air, the baby in her arms wailing in front. Robin, having climbed up a building onto the roof, paused, taking out his staff.

”Starfire! TITANS, GO!”

He twirled his staff in the air, rushing over the roof and vaulting himself through the air, being caught by Raven as she raced by, throwing him towards where Starfire was falling. 

Gizmo and Mammoth laughed along with Jinx…until a bundle fell into Mammoth’s giant hand. He blinked as they watched Robin catch Starfire dramatically, the other two still laughing as Mammoth look down. “Uuuuuh.”

”What the crud are you sayin’?” Gizmo looked over, then hopped back into the air, squinting. “What the fudge is that?”

”Dunno,” Mammoth grunted, twisting the bundle a bit. It squealed, a baby’s head poking out as he cried, hiccuping. “Ew.”

”Ew is right! Throw that sucker in the trash,” Gizmo grimaced, backing away from Mammoth. Jinx looked up, crossing her arms.

”Here, gimme the baby.”

They seemed to ignore her, Gizmo mocking Mammoth who kept nervously bouncing his hand, the baby squalling angrily. Robin and the others finally seemed to have their footing, and Robin pointed his staff at them. “Hand over the baby, villains!”

Mammoth snorted, bouncing the bundle again. “Make us, you-”

”GIVE ME THE FUCKING BABY.” Jinx hit Mammoth with her power, making him flinch and drop the bundle, her catching him with ease as she sighed, cooing down at the little skeleton. “Awww, aren’t you a darling~!” She looked at Mammoth and Gizmo, hand on her hip. “You two are idiots, babies are fragile!”

”The crud should I care about that?” Gizmo muttered, squealing as he avoided another slice of her magic. “Frick you, Jinx! I’m going home!”

”Me too, this ain’t fun,” Mammoth grumbled, the both of them marching off and griping about her to themselves. 

The other Titans looked over and Robin cleared his throat. “Uuuh. Jinx…?”

Jinx was busy cooing and rubbing her cheek against the baby’s, gasping when Sans piped up, “Bwotha!”

”Another one?! Eeeehhh!!!” She squealed, dashing over and cooing over him from where he sat atop horse-Beast Boy. “You are just so cute and darling and I would take you home if I could! Yes I would!” Sans seemed to enjoy her attention, or at least, only did since she was holding Papyrus.

Cyborg cleared his throat, crossing his arms. “Jinx.”

She sighed, standing up straighter and rolled her eyes. “Geeze, tin can, you can have him. Here.” She slipped the baby into Starfire’s arms, smiling softly as she crossed her arms. “On babysitting duty? Didn’t see you all as the types.” She shrugged. “But, whatever.”

The Titans didn’t say anything for a moment, before they looked at Cyborg, who nodded, and they bid goodbye to go about their first mission. Cyborg sighed, one hand on his hip. “Okay, what’s going on?”

”What?” she said, looking away. 

“You know what. I mean. I get not wanting to hurt a baby,” he nodded. “But…I dunno. Seems a little personal for you.”

She didn’t say anything for a moment, watching out over the river beside them, one hand curling into the sleeve of her other arm. She cleared her throat. “I can’t have kids.”

Cyborg’s face dropped, his hand coming up for a moment. “Jinx, I-I didn’t know-”

”No it’s fine,” she sighed, taking a step back from his hand, but the way she didn’t look at him seemed to indicate it was not fine. “It’s a side effect of my power. Whoops, bad luck, can’t have kids, can’t have a life. I don’t care.”

”Now I know that’s not true,” he stepped closer, frowning. “It’s different when it’s your choice, but it hurts to have it taken from you.”

She turned away from him, shrugging nonchalantly, starting to walk away. “Yeah, it does, and it sucks. But it’s life.” She stopped, tilting her head as if she was going to look behind her before yanking back around. “But ah, if you ever need another babysitter, I’m your gal!”

Cyborg watched her walk away, sighing as he brought a hand up to pinch his nose, chuckling. “You sure are, Jinx. You sure are.”

With that, he turned, both of them splitting for their respective teams, one of them feeling lost with the information, the other, lighter.  
~~

“Where the heck are the others?” Kyd asked See-More, who was busy collecting coins out of the wishing fountain. He shrugged, shaking the coins in his hand.

”Dunno, should we call them?”

”…uuuuh….” Kyd pointed behind See-More, who blinked his giant eye and turned.

In Robin’s hand he dangled Billy Numerous, and Raven’s hands lit up.

They screamed, letting the change fall back in and running away, while Sans giggled from the now Elephant Beast Boy’s back. 

”Nice,” Beast Boy said, and then plucked Sans from his back to carry using his trunk, making the toddler squirm and giggle.

Raven gave him a sharp look. “Don’t drop him.” Beast Boy laughed nervously, morphing back into his horse form and letting the toddler back on his back. Easy.

~~

“That’s unfortunate.” Bruce set the tea cup on the china plate, lacing his fingers in his lap as the monster King, Asgore, and the Queen, Toriel, sat across from him. Toriel nodded, her hand gripping onto her tea cup tightly.

“We know of his children, they’re Asriel’s age,” she stated, taking a sip of tea slowly. “But…I cannot imagine how the children got so far…”

Asgore nodded along. “Yes, it’s very concerning,” he rumbled, stroking his beard lightly. “Perhaps your children can go and see if all is well? I would send the guard but they’re busy cleaning up after the whole…” He made a motion in the air and Bruce had to prevent himself from snorting. 

His children, indeed.

”I’ll have them clean up the squid,” he said, already pulling out his cellphone. “As punishment.”

Toriel quirked a grin. “Punishment?”

”As you should know, children never listen to their parents.” The three laughed, Alfred hiding a smile as Bruce started to call Robin.

~~

Robin knocked on the wooden door lightly, taking a step back. They were all eager to see their work come to fruition (well, Batman’s work, really). Starfire had Papyrus up on her shoulder, the baby cooing in her ear as she floated. Beast Boy had turned back to his human form, but Sans seemed attached to Raven now, plucking at the clasp of her hood curiously.

The house was…large? Ish? From what Robin could hear, there were many people inside, or perhaps it was one person but loud? The porch was simple, not a wraparound, but long enough to have a porch swing on. The front yard had a tree with a tree swing, and a trike, hallmarks of a child living here, Robin knew.

…there were several cars in the driveway, which…made him uneasy. He wasn’t sure why. He crossed his arms, his leg jostling nervously as the seconds ticked by.

And then the door opened to a skeleton woman, a handkerchief held to her mouth. “Y-Yes?” she sniffed, dabbing at her eye socket, “How can I-Sans!” she yelped and he whined, hugging up to Raven nervously.

Robin held up a hand, as he wasn’t sure the woman grabbing him would be the best idea (and Raven would not appreciate the breaking of her personal space bubble). “Yes, ma’am, sorry for the intrusion. But we found the brothers-well, Batman did-and we-”

The woman seemed to break down in sobs, leaning against the door as she shook and the teens felt _even more out of place_. A wisp monster came behind her, a hand on her shoulder as she cried, and he looked at them with a breezy smile. “…come…inside. We have…much to talk about…”

Inside was…well, Robin didn’t have much to measure it against, if he was honest. The Tower and Bruce’s home, but those weren’t exactly anything considered common.

The hall from the door stretched to a kitchen and living room, with stairs leading up. On one table laid many pictures, and as they passed by to follow the wisp monster and the crying skeleton, he noticed one picture in a silver frame.

It held another skeleton man with a drooping eye socket, holding a little baby in his arms. Not Papyrus, the skull was too squat, so Sans? The man looked near tears, but smiling. Happy.

In the living room, it was quiet as they watched the teens pass by. Several different monsters, most being skeletons, although Robin could see a cat monster or a slime in there. Only one child, and they seemed older and just as uncomfortable, playing on their phone to pretend they weren’t there.

In the kitchen, the wisp set the crying woman at the table and she sniffed, wiping at her eye sockets. “We didn’t know where they had gone! We-We knew it was quiet, in their rooms, b-but…”

”We…didn’t think…they left,” the wisp man said, a hand on her shoulder.

Robin nodded, crossing his arms nervously. There was a lot of food laid out on the island, a kettle on the stove, and paperwork on the table. “Right…so what’s going on…?”

The woman sniffed, shaking her head. “Sorry, sorry, I’m Lucida, it’s nice to meet you. Sans, where did you go? Why did you leave? We were so worried…”

Sans just shrugged, not having moved from Raven’s arms as he looked away. Papyrus seemed to decide it was nap time, and Starfire-having somehow become a master at baby handling by now-was content to tuck him into her elbow.

The wisp nodded slowly. “Your…aunt is right…Sans. We were worried.”

”Nuh-uuuuh,” Sans drawled, sticking his tongue out. Robin frowned looking over at him.

”Sans, that’s not nice. Why do you say that?”

Sans frowned, fiddling with Raven’s clasp again, although she didn’t seem to mind it as much. “Yous say, dunno what to do.”

Lucida sniffled, still wiping at her eye socket. “What, honey?”

”You say,” Sans huffed, as if not liking that she didn’t instantly understand, “You no no what to do, you say ‘what with the babies, can’t have them’, so’s I tooks Papy wif me.” He seemed on edge as he said it, almost as if he was about to cry.

Robin and the others looked at the other two, and the wisp man blinked while Lucida’s face crumpled. “Oh you heard that? Sans I’m so sorry…”

”You really need to start explaining, ma’am,” Cyborg said, a hand on the back of a chair. And so she did.

Doctor WingDings Gaster, Sans and Papyrus’ father, the man in the photo Robin had seen, had Fallen Down not but two days ago. Papyrus was only a few months old, but it seemed that there was an underlying condition that not even the Doctor knew about. He seemed to have withered away at home with his children, staying in longer away from friends and family.

And then he’d managed to call 911 before he Fell Down entirely, managing to save his children from the sight.

However…the family was made up of…older generations. None of them had raised a child in decades. They weren’t complaining about it, they were trying to figure out who was best to take on Sans and Papyrus.

Robin sighed, nodding. “I understand. He heard probably the end of a sentence, and took it upon himself to do what he thought was right.”

Lucinda nodded, staring down at the table with a rough sigh. “We all feel horrible about everything, but you have to understand, we’re older monsters. The last baby I held was around 30 years ago. My hands shake when I do embroidery…” she sighed again, rubbing a hand over her cheek. “The only family that’s child-ready is Roman’s, but they’re young, expecting, we can’t…” She paused, not able to finish the sentence, but they understood.

Beast Boy now held Sans on his lap, said toddler eating an apple slice now that no one was paying attention. “We could take ‘em!”

”What?” Robin looked at him. Beast Boy shrugged.

”Dude, the Bat already looked like he was gonna raise ‘em, why not?”

Robin hesitated, frowning. “I don’t…think, I don’t know.”

Lucinda frowned, twisting her handkerchief in her hand. “…could I speak with him? He found them, yes? I wouldn’t want to impose, but…” But if he was willing, then they were happy to see them somewhere safe, she didn’t say, but it hung in the air.

Robin nodded. “I’ll…I’ll give him a call, okay? I can’t say which way but, I’ll give him a call.”

No, he already knew the answer the moment his dad and Alfred showed up with a diaper bag, toys, and two little boys.

The two would become official members of the Bat Family.

(There were tears shed, of course. The family felt like they were letting Gaster down by not being able to raise his sons. But whatever Bruce told them when he arrived, bustling the teens outside to wait, seemed to have brightened their spirits.

…and for some reason they were all now invited to the Font Family’s future reunions.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so in the episode where Cyborg turns to Stone, his human hologram, he and Jinx flirt around a lot.
> 
> But something I distinctly recall is that, at one point, he asks why she's on the bad guys' side, and she's talking about her powers.
> 
> And she said "I can't have a family, and I can't fall in love."
> 
> Idk. Always stuck with me...
> 
> ....anywhoooo!!! Future reunions!!!


	4. Batman and The Colored Cowl

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bruce has a party. Despite the title, the colored cowl appears only for a moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hnnngggg Poison Ivy and Harley
> 
> women raising each other up
> 
> love
> 
> I would DIE for them

“My, my, my...Brucie bear as a father? Color me shocked.”

Bruce knew who owned that sultry voice, he didn’t even have to look up from the champagne flute in his hand, nor away from the congregating party in the open foyer. “Ivy. Lovely to have you here.”

She sprung in his side vision like one of her many poisonous little roses, coiled red hair that spoke both ‘alluring’ and ‘stay away’. She had on a long green gown, a champagne flute in her own hand, her eyes taking him in a calculating gaze as the flute tipped to touch her rosy lips. “Harley, miss an event to cause a bit of chaos? And me, to leave her to her own devices? As if, Bat.”

He chuckled, sighing as he leaned against the edge of the doorway, the suit and tie combo now feeling heavy and odd with her nearby. “I take it Sans escaped nap time.”

“Is that his name?” She arched a perfectly shaped eyebrow as she smirked, one hand on her hip as she rested her weight on her leg. The slit of her dress revealed her other leg up to her knee. It seemed she favored shoes now, possibly Harley’s doing. “Harley was quite taken with him, and your little butler man-”

“Alfred.”

“Yes him. The baby cried and he had to tend to him.” She tilted the glass towards the hall behind them, and he could hear it now over the din of the music in the party. Harley’s high-pitched laughter and Sans’ gleeful giggles echoed down to them as if in a race to see who was first. “Now she’s distracted herself in a positive manner. You should feel happy about that.”

“Would it shock you if I was?” He reached his hand out with the flute, tipping it to toss the champagne down into a fountain, knowing that it would merely be recycled through and not do any real harm. After all, if he got the nearby fern drunk, he would never hear the end of it.

“No, not really. You’re odd like that.” She took another slow sip, and for a moment, he remembered the past, titillating flirtations, a wall between them that they never crossed but always pushed on. But then she tilted down the flute, and in the light, a beautiful ring with a set of red and black gems rested on her finger.

The past was the past.

“Of course,” he said, tilting his head away from the party with a small smile. “Come, before Sans convinces her to paint his face.”

“I think it’d be a cute look on him.” All the same she followed, their presence like a feather-light touch one might have thought they felt, but nothing was nearby.

Harley had changed over the years as well. She used to wear that gaudy little clown outfit, which as much as it matched her name, seemed...suffocating on her. Or maybe that was the Joker’s doing, which wouldn’t surprise Bruce in the slightest. It had taken Ivy a long time to get her to open up, but just as she managed to do with her impressive array of flowers, Harley bloomed under her caretaking like a desert rose, something that if you blinked, you’d miss it.

Now Harley wore short jeans and a funny top with various sayings on it, her hair in pigtails. She had dyed the tips pink on one side and blue on the other, and had washed the make up from her face. Rather, she had coated her lips in gloss that made her smack them together constantly for fun, and if she let her, Ivy would doodle swirls at the edges of her eyes.

Today’s shirt said ‘Ball Park RUN’, and he wasn’t sure how she jumped from clown jokes to baseball puns, but he wouldn’t poke the bear as it were.

She sat on the floor with Sans, baby Papyrus on her lap and dozing away while she had a crayon in hand, sketching a large red heart on Sans’ head. “Oh you are just going ta be so cuuuUUUTE!” She squealed, her crossed legs doing that up and down motion that kids who wanted to move around did, grinning brightly as Sans clapped his hands.

“Cuuuuute!” He mimicked and she laughed, twisting her head quickly when Bruce and Ivy rounded the corner. “Ivy did you scold him for keeping the babies a secret? I could! I wanna!”

“I did,” she murmured, a stark contrast to Harley’s never-ending energy. (But could he really say that when he remembered their Corvette days?...no.) She slunk into a chair, one elegant leg crossed over the other, still holding onto the flute that now held a kiss mark on the edge. “He’s quite apologetic.”

“I am,” he agreed when Harley twisted her head to look at him upside-down. “It wasn’t quite planned as it was, you see.” He held no qualms about getting down on the ground beside her, and Ivy, watching, recalled a similar scene with a little girl whose powers were unable to be contained, and how he sat with her until the end.

He wasn’t the only one who often thought of a future now closed, after all.

Harley stuck her tongue at him, scribbling the heart as Sans squealed and squirmed in place. “Fiiiiine. I accept it, ya honker.” She sniffed, adjusting Papyrus up a bit onto her knee, careful not to jostle him as she traded for a yellow crayon in the mountain of crayons between the two.

They were interrupted by Alfred, carrying two jars of water, a palette of paint, and brushes. “Madam, I found the-oh, hello, Sir.”

“Alfred, you’re encouraging this?”

Alfred stared at him, then slowly nudged the jars onto a side table, arms crossed behind his back hiding the paint and brushes. “I have absolutely no clue what you mean, Sir.”

Bruce let out a scoff as Harley cackled, prodding him with a black crayon. “Don’t be a downer, ya bat-head! Let us paint! Let us paint! Sans, help me!”

Sans gasped, stumbling up and clapping. “Paint paint paint!”

“I can tell when I’m outnumbered,” he chuckled, waving a hand. “Go on then, but a certain someone’s getting a bath.” He had to chuckle when they both groaned about it. “Harley, I think you’re old enough to figure out if you want to bathe after painting on yourself.”

“Adulting sucks,” she responded, but started in on the paints when Alfred laid them out next to her.

Bruce just let her at it, slowly standing up as his knees popped. Damn, he was getting old. “You two have at it, I have guests to get out of my home.” Ivy, surprisingly, stood as well, her champagne flute suspiciously missing.

“I’ll accompany you, to ensure you don’t literally kick them out.”

Harley’s snickers followed them down the darkened hallway they had came, and he turned his head, raising an eyebrow. “There a real reason you’re following me?”

Ivy hummed, her fingers thrumming against her bare upper arm for a moment. “Let us watch the little ones for a while.”

“Why’s that?”

“They say you should practice before having your own.” She sighed softly, slipping a stray red hair behind her ear. “Besides, it could cement our own decision, you know.”

Whatever decision that was, was between her and Harley, so he didn’t pry. “I just ask that you don’t do villain things around them. They’re impressionable,” he paused. “...and fragile.”

Ivy rolled her eyes. “We’re not that horrible. But fine, deal.”

He shook his head, chuckling as he paused at the doorway. “In a little while. We’re all still...settling in, as it were.”

“I understand.” She slid up close to him, and before he could react, she touched his shoulder and stood up tall, pressing a soft kiss to his cheek before relaxing down off her tip-toes. “You’re a self-sacrificing fool, you know?”

Bruce chuckled, a hand slipping over hers and squeezing, before swinging them both down and releasing hers. “That the reason, there?”

“There are others, of course, but that’s the prime one.” She tilted her head, bringing up her hand to cup her own cheek. “And as darling as it is, one of these days, that trait’s going to get you killed in a ditch. Harley may be forgiving, but even she has a knife hidden away should she be wronged. You? I’ve never seen a softer man with a gun.”

“I’ll take it as a compliment.”

“Take it how you please.” She turned around with a flip of her hair. “I’ll get Harley and we’ll go in a moment. Have fun with your guests.” And then she was gone, leaving the smell of earth and rain behind her.

For now, he concentrated on fake smiles and nodding, and leading his guests outside as the party wound down.

When he went to wish the boys goodnight, Sans had painted him a picture that was hanging on the wall, deep asleep with glasses and a mustache drawn on him. Thankfully, Papyrus was spared their crafting-babies ate everything, after all-and said baby babbled at him when he popped in. He leaned into the crib, letting his hand cup over the tiny belly. “You’re awake late, hm?”

“ABU!”

“I see.” He started to hum, gently rubbing his thumb over the little set of ribs. The baby huffed and puffed, but it seemed to settle him after a little bit, and off he went to dreamland.

He was just like Robin, in that aspect, or at least when Robin was sick. All the same, he slowly left the nursery, leaving things quiet for the two. 

At least the dinner party was over…

~~

The burglar, already halfway across the city by the time Batman caught up with him, was busy laughing his ass off and pointing, the bag of jewels fallen to the side. “B-Bat-Bat-Pink Bat! AHAHAHAHAHAH!” he wheezed, leaning over and pointing.

Batman glared from under his cowl. His ‘ears’ were painted pink, his cape had very carefully painted flowers over it, and a mass of blue and green lines decorated his boots, legs, and a smiley face over his belly.

None of this stopped him from knocking out the burglar, however.

When he faced down White Rabbit later that night, she cooed over the obvious child drawings over his uniform and gushed about how patient he must have been with them.

Her break in concentration was almost enough to catch her. Almost.

Next time...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When Ivy calls him 'soft', she doesn't mean he's a total forgiving person. After all we can see that Batman has moves and can easily take care of himself in battle.
> 
> But god the man has a *fucking heart*
> 
> He gently leads Mr. Freeze away instead of socking him in the mouth when he catches him. He lets a woman who believes she's a little girl hold onto his cape and cry her eyes out (if I'm honest I'm not sure if she IS a little girl but can't grow up, or thinks she's one...). He sits with a mutant whose powers are threatening to destroy the city and instead of blaming her or doing anything else, he sits on the swings and spends time with her until she dies because of her powers. He took in Robin and trained him and loved him like his own kid (YOU CAN'T SAY HE DIDN'T I WILL FITE YOU IN A TARGET PARKING LOT!!)
> 
> Ivy's saying that there's not a lot of people like him, and while it may melt her heart a little to see him do these things, she just can't see herself letting him go one day and not seeing him come back home.
> 
> Her and Harley? Ride or die. They're equal amounts of a powder keg ready to pop and if one goes down so does the other. And Ivy doesn't mind going in a ball of fire so long as it's with her wife <3
> 
> I get massive feels for Harley and Ivy you see  
> ...and lore....  
> anyway~!


	5. Wonder Woman Visits

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wonder Woman visits her old friend, Bruce Wayne.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> today i almost wrote shape-shipped in a star trek sim and have muy regerts  
> so many
> 
> Also I have a toooon of headcanons for the League. so many. so. many.

Whenever Diana hears that Bruce has, once more, adopted a small child, she gets this… _feeling_ inside her. Hawk Girl teases that it’s a ‘maternal’ thing, but no, Diana doesn’t believe so. After all, she was not like her mother, craving a child to the point she molded one from the soil.

At least, not right now.

No, rather...she...she felt warm, yes, it was true. But more of a pride thing. A ‘good for you’ type of feeling.

She could recall when Robin was young, how he would beg to use her lasso, how as he grew older he stopped being a child and he started ducking his head and calling her ‘ma’am’. How she would mourn the loss of the little boy thumping around in too large boots and cackling up a storm.

But, time is ever-flowing, and she, a passenger for the ride. 

Small children fascinate her. Not to want her own, but enough that she comes to care for them, like one of her many Aunts. 

Visiting Bruce wearing her usual outfit is nothing short of a siren, but she detests the current fashion that populates everyone around her. She wears her toga, and makes a silent landing in front of the door, giving the bell a ring before taking two steps back, arms behind her as she waits. 

Alfred answers as she imagined he would. "Lady Diana!" he exclaims, his face lighting up like a child himself as he pulls the door further open. "Come in, come in!" 

"Alfred," she nods, taking a few steps into the doorway. "It's wonderful to see you again." She extends her arm, clasping a hand around his forearm, and in turn he does the same, both of them squeezing lightly before releasing. She smiles. "How are things?" 

"Wonderful, as always," he responds, shutting and locking the door behind them, standing up straight and dressed in his normal uniform. He turns, leading her through the small hall. “With our two new additions, things have changed, but I am accustomed to it, of course.”

“Of course,” she repeats, her eyes trailing over the bare walls idly. The thing about Bruce was, he didn’t let a lot of people in, so he never decorated… _here_ , that was.

The living room they entered was an entirely different story.

A plush leather couch with a soft blanket courtesy of Alfred was folded over the back. A soft carpet with a coffee table lay in front of a small fireplace (cordoned off with a gate) with a plasma TV hanging over the top of it. Pictures upon pictures upon pictures littered the room, its walls, the table, the ledge of the fireplace.

Robin without his mask, with it, Bruce as a young boy, Alfred when he...was younger, at least. Several photos over the years, with Bruce looking sour in each one (pardoning the young Robin photos, where said boy had a missing tooth but a hand on his shoulder and a proud, warm look from the man beside him).

There were new additions, paintings with hands, and little sneak photos of an infant and toddler...skeleton? Interesting.

Again, she had a feeling, but she wasn’t sure what to call it. She hums, crossing her arms. “So, where’s dark and mysterious at?”

“Have you and Ivy been hanging out?”

She’d long since stopped jumping at his sudden appearances, but it didn’t stop her from turning instantly, arms at her sides as if prepared to deck him. He was there, no cowl of course, in a fluffy blue robe and bunny slippers of all things.

One arm contained a sleeping skeleton baby, albeit he looked bigger than the ones she had often seen (perhaps not an infant? What do they call the ones between infant and toddler?), and in his other arm, along with a cup of coffee, was a little toddler looking half asleep but curious.

She scoffs, relaxing her stance. “Only sometimes. She’s as wonderful with plants as Demeter, but with an attitude that rivals Ares.” She pauses, staring at the children with a small smile. “Introductions out of your vocabulary, Bruce?”

“Never,” he shuffles to the couch, settling the toddler-dressed in a cute set of pajamas that encased his feet that she assumed was part of some fashion for...children-on the couch. “Sans, this is my...friend, Diana.”

Friend?

She hides her surprise by gifting Sans a smile. “Hello, Sans. It’s nice to meet you.”

“Hi,” Sans whispers, his hands tangled into the sleeve of Bruce’s robe, staring at her before hiding his face. Bruce gently bounces the baby.

“Papyrus. They’re...still adjusting.”

“I understand.” She smiles at Sans again, who peeks up to stare at her. “I was curious. The Titans told me about them, and I wanted to come by.”

“Hm, you mean the other children?” Bruce chuckles, nudging Sans to sit correctly on the couch and he does, plunking down hard enough he bounces, sending him into a spiel of giggles as Bruce takes a seat next to him. “The League doesn’t need me right now, does it?”

“No, just a visit,” she takes a seat in an armchair, an elegant leg crossed over the other. One thing to say about Bruce, he’s quite the gentleman. His gaze never wavers, nor caresses her over as many another does. In fact, she’s not seen him do that to anyone, even if he was flirting with them. All the same, she taps her foot in the air lightly for a moment. “You should swing by with them, let them see the others.”

“Maybe.” He reaches over where Alfred is offering a sippy cup, holding it out for Sans who snatches it up with a gasp and plunks into his lap, curling up happily as he takes a drink. Bruce adjusts as if it was habit, his arm pillowed under the tiny head. “I think I’ll give it a little longer. I’m not sure how well they do with a lot of people.”

“Them or you?”

“Hey now, I’m...sociable.” His answer had Alfred making a noise where he stood quietly by, and herself covering her mouth, hiding a grin.

“Now and again, sure. Clark wants to see them too, you know.”

Bruce made a face, and she knew exactly why, too. “The same Superman that acts way too much like a kid himself? I wonder why.”

“Be nice, Bruce,” she murmurs, watching Sans kick his feet lightly before squirming a bit, watching his little brother yawn in his sleep. “Clark likes kids. And kids tend to like him in return.”

“Kids like him because he’s an adrenaline junky,” he grumbles, handing Papyrus off to Alfred who quickly soothes the baby back to sleep. Sans scrambles up, peeking over Bruce’s shoulder but holding on so he won’t fall over. The way Bruce’s hand came up to cover his back led Diana to figure that that wouldn’t happen any time soon.

“Can’t say you aren’t,” she chuckles. “So...are you going to explain or…?”

He did, in his candor way he had about him. Sans didn’t seem to care (or wasn’t listening), as he bounces from watching Papyrus to rolling around and staring at her from Bruce’s arm, breaking into a yawn after a little bit. Eventually, he tucks his head under Bruce’s arm and seems to fall off to sleep without a care in the world.

“Had a long night?” she whispers, and Bruce doesn’t nod nor shake his head, but the way he picks Sans up to lay him on his shoulder tells her everything and more. “I’d rather not disturb you, then. I’ll send Barry by, you like to see him, right?” She could hear his grunt as she stood, the chair creaking as she did so, sweeping a lock of black hair behind her ear with ease.

“I’d rather you didn’t do that either,” he grumbles, but she acts as if she didn’t hear him, instead turning as Alfred heads to the door, opening it for her.

“I do hope you’ll return for another visit,” he gently prods, giving her a smile as she nods.

“Of course, Alfred,” she takes his forearm in her hand, squeezing once more. “I can’t leave him alone, besides, he might ask the Titans to babysit and who knows how that would go?”

Alfred suddenly gets a look that’s a cross between very amused and stifling a laugh. “Oh, I believe I have a thought. Have a wonderful morning, Lady Diana.”

“You as well, Alfred of Wayne Manor.” She gives him a respectful nod, and off she rises into the air once more, feeling that same unnamed feeling spreading through her heart and soul.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apropos of nothing but you can't tell me that Wonder Woman and Alfred, Batman's butler, wouldn't have a close friendship  
> Reason: he sees her as a kind person, and she believes his work to be of high importance and treats him with the respect he deserves (not that Bruce doesn't)
> 
> Bruce absolutely sees him as a friend and a caretaker of sorts, however, anyone else who visits...they're not so nice.
> 
> Lady Diana holds a special place in Alfred's heart.


End file.
